Your truck no longer has all the trim it left the factory with.

You cut some or all of the missing trim off in order to fit protective plates, bars, or sliders.

Other people know where you’ve met your new friends by the fact that you almost immediately start discussing how to use cooking oil as fuel.

Snow provokes a similar reaction from you to that of the average five year old.

You find yourself doing the weekly shopping in something equipped to cross the Sahara because you can’t be bothered to take all the gear off.

Your most useful tools are a can of Plusgas and a big set of spanners.

The thing you desire at the moment is made of steel plate and costs around £300.

Before trying to go into a multi storey car park, you first have to unbolt the two metre long aerial from your roof.

Your car washing routine consists of thoroughly jetwashing the underside then giving the bodywork a brief pass with a hose.

After doing this, your driveway could sustain a crop of vegetables.

The paint on your roof is scratched.

You have got out of bed at five AM in order to drive around a frozen mountainside.

You then repeated this the next day.

You wonder why anyone would buy a car that can’t put a wheel up on a tree stump and keep the remaining three wheels in contact with the ground.

You find yourself relishing the chance to go to cities, as you find scaring urban 4x4s hugely amusing.

You have watched and laughed at videos of clueless Hummer drivers breaking their vehicles.

You regard “Not suitable for motor vehicles” as a challenge.

Likewise news reports along the lines of “Town cut off by snow”.

Your “satnav” is a laptop PC running mapping software.