Umm, Yes...March 28, 2008 2:26 pm

The first series of Ashes to Ashes ended last night with a series of events that easily reached the standard of Life on Mars. This morning I read a review that claimed that people only watch it for DCI Gene Hunt. I don’t entirely agree, clearly the more involved plot details are a little too much for the London-addled minds of the TV reviewing classes. However, I have thought about the appeal of DCI Hunt.

The fact is, even the most left-wing, emotionally intelligent, moisturising metrosexual man wants to be Gene. They won’t admit it, but deep down they secretly admire him. It’s the same reason that witless American series with the torture fetishist in the lead role does so well. Secretly or not so secretly, men want to be him and women want him.  

Take a look at the lawman (to quote Bowie). Gene is described by one of his colleagues in Life on Mars as "An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding". Accurate, possibly. But compare him to many modern young men.

Gene drinks heavily, refers to women as "skirt" and wouldn’t recognise a salad if it attacked him. But on the other hand, he can handle his drink. He doesn’t drink beyond his capacity then try to pick fights or turn into a snivelling tantrum-hurling man-child to get attention from women. Likewise while he may have had trouble with the concept of female colleagues there is evidence in Ashes to Ashes that he is changing. His reaction to Shaz being stabbed and to Alexs’ various perils  suggests that despite feminism having barely registered he is at heart a gentleman, although his protective attitudes may grate with his colleagues (such as when he advises Alex to go home and sleep rather than throwing herself at a random Yuppie). When it’s important, the usual apparently emotionless tough guy becomes a caring person.

As with that other great fictional lawman Sam Vimes, Gene is not by nature violent. In three series he has never attacked someone just because he can. He despises violent criminals and regards himself as the sheriff protecting the general public from them. He will punch, kick, and on occasion shut suspects in an industrial freezer but only if he has a firm belief that they have been guilty of things that are at least as bad. Compare this to the frquent drunken brawls with reasons such as "he looked at my girl" that his real life counterparts have to break up outside city centre clubs on a daily basis.

This then may be the secret of his success. While he can look after himself and those around him, he is never prone to bouts of meaningless violence and deep down he is a caring if a little over-protective individual. Despite his neolithic views on homosexuality and minorities he still regards them as people, evidently regarding their background as less important than the crimes committed against them. His response to a murder being described as a "Hate Crime" is particularly telling: "What, as opposed to one of those I love you murders?". He would never physically attack someone on the basis of their skin colour, sexuality or football preferences. Compare this to the recent real-world case involving a girl beaten to death simply for being a Goth.

I can think exactly how the Gene Genie would have dealt with the gang responsible for that. And I think an awful lot of us would have held his coat as he did so.  

   

WildlifeMarch 19, 2008 11:57 am

You can tell spring is approaching by the number of small feathered things in the garden. An update on the population.

Sparrows: Still plenty of them, still bouncing around making an incredible racket. After putting out fat balls all winter this is now a pretty good description of some of them. The future is bright for sparrowkind.

Starlings: Still making hostile take-overs of the bird feeders and bullying everything else. Oddly enough they never seem inclined to descend to ground level, possibly because of our next species

Blackbirds: The bouncing modem impressions continue. Still staring down the hyper-aggressive robins and fighting running battles with next doors.

Crows/Ravens: I have no idea which they are, corvid identification is not my field. However, they seem to have learned to perch on a nut feeder. That this does not lead to said feeder falling over is a great credit to the quality of materials used. Usually departs after a sharp hand clap, they are more than capable of finding their own food and are depriving smaller species.

Pigeons: Possibly collared doves. Either produces gentle cooing or a noise reminiscent of a strangled french horn. Their main contribution to the world seems to be to crap all over our new gates or provide entertainment as they try to take off. At least one of them is now approaching the size of a chicken. I have no idea what they are eating as they are completely the wrong shape to use our bird feeder and don’t seem to forage much beyond the odd exploratory amble around the lawn.

Red Kites: Are still to be found in large numbers a few miles away. One has been sighted overhead within the last week or so, suspicions that the blackbird went for it are as yet unconfirmed.

Pheasants: The strange startled clucking noises from the fields over the road have ceased. It may therefore be assumed that the random pheasant population has moved on.

 

Grumpy Young Man, GooneryMarch 12, 2008 2:18 pm

I watched the redesigned “Ski Sunday” recently.

After about five minutes I was forced to double check that I was actually watching a programme about skiing.

See, when I was young(er!) this programme was a weekly glimpse into a world of snow-related sports. You’d see Alps, Milka cows, lots of umlauts and mad Austrians hurtling down mountains with planks strapped to their feet. It was serious coverage of skiing, a sport in which Britain has never really fielded world-class athletes. That the BBC still felt able to run a programme on the subject was a cause for celebration.

Now, however, it would be better called “Celebrity Ski Travel”.

You get around ten minutes of an alleged celebrity falling over on skis. Then ten minutes of wandering around a ski resort in the best traditions of holiday programmes. Then another ten minutes with the previous celebrity who isn’t falling over quite as often after a few days of training. Repeat to infinity. Occasionally if they run out of these you might get half a glimpse of proper skiers competing in serious events.

All is not lost, however. Get a satellite dish and figuratively point it to Germany. You’ll get all the old ski coverage along with every other snow-based sport known to man. The commentary will be in German, however compared to some regional accents in Britain (yes, I’m talking to those of you in the bottom right hand corner) it’s easy to understand.

Oh, and they’ve mangled the theme tune too. There was nothing wrong with the original…