A bit of an odd title, I’ll agree. There are more action films hitting the screen now than for some time. One snag though, the heroes all appear to have had their brains surgically removed.

We’ve got a James Bond who is only marginally more intelligent than his shoes, and some witless American on TV who keeps letting the enemy catch him and do all sorts of nastiness. I’m beginning to wonder if he enjoys it in some perverse way. What on earth is going on?

I’ve commented before on the fact that idiots with muscles seem to be more popular than sophisticated intellectuals at the moment, and that this trend extends to films. Timothy Dalton, for example, might not have been as tough as the current Bond but, the point is, he didn’t need to be. Dalton’s Bond was a sly, cunning fellow who leant heavily on any advantages he had, rather than just wading in.  He certainly wouldn’t have rolled his car after seeing his female colleague in the middle of the road. Dalton would most likely have jumped his Aston clean over her using the rocket booster, shot up the villains with the concealed missiles, then returned to pick her up. Home in time for tea and medals.

I grew up watching classic war films, Sink the Bismarck was a favourite for a while but doesn’t really fit here other than its portrayal of land-based commanders as heroes too. Where Eagles Dare, on the other hand, does fit.

I maintain that this film has a lot to do with the popularity of the Wolfenstein series of computer games. The number of people who bounced around those corridors muttering "Broadsword calling Danny Boy" must be pretty high. 

There has yet to be an escape sequence on a par with their approach of stealing a post bus before running rings around large numbers of Wehrmacht troops. I think everyone who has seen that film secretly wants to have a go at knocking over the trigger posts with that gigantic snowplough and watching the telegraph poles fall over in the mirror.  As for the more heroic parts, can you see any of the current crop of numbskulls knowing how to operate a cable car, or clinging to the roof with only one fully-functional hand? Staying completely calm and convincing their captors that they’re a double agent, right up until the point when they were able to shoot their way out?

Moving on, The Avengers. A wonderfully surreal British spy series of the 1960s with the superb John Steed and rather lovely Emma Peel, in the versions I’ve seen repeats of anyway. Between them, they foiled assorted dastardly plots armed only with a sword umbrella, bowler hat, and some nifty fighting abilities on the part of Mrs Peel. I’m wondering if there would be a way to have Steed frozen in Austin Powers style and then inserted into 24. It would at least make it watchable, if only for the current lead character crying behind his desk about the old British guy who just bumped off all the terrorists without even losing his carnation. Civilisation returns to the counter-terror business. Come back Steed and Peel, you are both needed.