The above gibberish is, allegedly, CB radio at its finest. However, in over a year of owning such a device I have yet to hear anyone I know using the slang.

I was born a bit too late for the great CB craze of the ’80s, so reading about it on the internet is a bit of a history lesson. I bought a radio in order to keep in contact with the rest of the group on off road excursions, and as we only go in small groups we can recognise each other by voice. We’ve never developed strange handles like Rubber Duck or Green Goblin simply because we don’t need them. Plus I’d have a hard time keeping a straight face while sending messages like "Rubber Duck, coming in your back door" which I believe means "I’m catching you up".

The general opinion seems to be that mobile phones have killed CB, along with cheap walkie-talkies using the PMR 446 standard. As the licence fee for CB was repealed a while ago, this leaves those of us adopting it in a very good position. We have an autonomous communications system with no call charges and the ability to make conference calls. We have plenty of free channels due to the fact that there are few other users on the air. Most importantly, while a mobile phone ceases to function in rural areas due to the lack of cells our radios can work quite happily. 

Plus we get to make innuendo about the 9ft whip or the big red Thunderpole. Can’t do that with a mobile phone…